I was very focused before the wedding. I did a 24-day Advocare challenge and saw a few results, but nothing major and since that time I have somewhat fallen off the wagon.
When I started this blog, I was gung-ho and I lost quite a bit of weight. I was down to 180. And now.... let's just say I am nowhere near that, but at the moment I am not ready to share my number here. Let's just say I've been blissfully "fat and happy". I don't mean that in a demeaning way, please let's not take offense.
You see, I see friends posting about working out together. "Oh, my bestie came and worked out with me." "Oh my bestie and I went for a walk." etc and etc and etc. I don't have that. Don't get me wrong. I have my own set of cheerleaders and supporters, but maybe I seek the support of the people who are there, but not really there more, I guess my mind needs the acknowledgement. I don't know what it is. I am learning to be thankful and let people know that I appreciate their encouragement and support, even when behind the scenes I have selfishly been thinking - I wish this friend still showed support in my life. I should just be happy for that friend and where their lives have taken them. To be fair, there are friends and relatives who have offered to walk with me or go to the gym with me - my issue there is time and a 9-year old. Now let me say this - I AM NOT HERE TO DOG MY FRIENDS. I am not stating this to put any one of my friends or relationships down, I'm just making an observation. Please note, that I called myself selfish in regards to these thoughts on my part.
While I point out that I feel like I am missing out here, let me also point out the awesome supporters that actively make their support known to me. My sisters, who have done multiple workout calendars with me, who have ALWAYS had my back and lifted me up as a person. When I am uncomfortable about my weight or size they encourage me. Janet Davidson - a local Advocare advisor, regularly reaches out to me. You know she has never once said you really need to get your butt in gear. She always tells me I am beautiful and I am awesome and how much she wants to support me. And you know what, she isn't making money off of me at this point. Lindsay Hay - a beachbody coach, I constantly follow her posts and regularly participate in some of her groups, which by the way is what brings me here today. There are many people in my life who constantly encourage me with just life in general so I write this because I need to get over it. We all have our own lives!!
Back to Lindsay - I joined a challenge group that began Monday. It's called "Love Yourself Challenge". Those words speak volumes. It has been some time since I loved myself. I don't even like to look in the mirror - it disgusts me. Even with clothes on, I look in the mirror and think oh my gosh that is just terrible. And I need to stop - did you all see the size 14 model on the Sports Illustrated. People were shaming her and the magazine and it's just ridiculous. Yes, we need to try to be healthier people and live better lifestyles - not just for ourselves but for our families and those around us, but we need to stop demeaning ourselves over our bodies and who we are. I know better than anyone this is hard. I believe I just admitted that. I see my daughter struggling with some of the same things now. She has some of my bad habits and now I have to train myself and her to be better.
So why am I saying all this? What's my point? Well I have two:
1. We need to be supporting each other and lifting each other up. Be there for your friends and show your caring, support, encouragement. In ALL aspects of life, not just weight loss
2. I am back in action, reporting for duty. Working once again towards where I want to be - a healthier lifestyle and a smaller pant size.
Here's to continually moving forward, being thankful for those around you, and never giving up.
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