This is us

I felt compelled to write a little about mine and Madysons lives, an update and kinda what we're doing these days. Ok so maybe I found this to be a somewhat emotional morning as I sent my little baby girl to her last day of FIRST grade.. You know what this means right? Second grade... The kid is growing up and that's just not allowed! But at the same time I love it! She is such a precious gem in my life (well, usually haha) and she has become such an amazing young girl!! Ok, I'm done for the moment with my sappy talk!
These days we are constantly on the go! Sometimes I barely make it to bed by my 9:30 bedtime.. I mean seriously how do people function? Ohhh and I only have one child's events to keep up with - of course I have no husband or even her father figure by my side. I do however get an enormous amount of help from family. My mom has been gracious enough to become my built in babysitter. I don't tell her enough how grateful I am! She works in town every day 9-1 and then she has been driving the 12 miles BACK to town every day at 4 to get my daughter from school. THEN after she has gone out of her way and used her time she often has been the one to take Madyson to dance class as its generally while I'm still at work. All of this she does... for me... so I can work. See, pretty awesome!
These days I work at a bank in the trust & investments department. I have a series 7 license and I am a sales & administrative assistant. It's a great job and a great place to work!! I want to continue my career at this bank, but I also want to put my degree and professional abilities to use... translation I want to be more than an assistant someday! I'd absolutely love to break into HR or a managerial type role and maybe someday I'll get the opportunity! I work a 2nd job mostly just on Saturdays but it brings in a little extra money for us. Turns out I really enjoy it!! It's laid back and people friendly!
I just recently finished my Bachelor's degree in Business Management St Friends University. I plan to continue on and get my Masters in Business Administration with a center in change management. I'm looking forward to a new phase and nervous at the same time. It's absolutely a LOT of work!! I take my classes online and many times I procrastinate but I have a goal to strive for a "cum laude" status this time. Expect major party invites when I finish in a couple years!! I believe that's reason to celebrate!!
Back to Madyson, she finished 1st grade an A student. We had our struggles and tears through the year but we made it! She started reading chapter books here just recently and as a reader myself I am one proud mama!! She totally gets her smarts and good looks from her mama :) She started competition dancing this year. For anyone who is not so in tune to ththe dance world this means several days a week at dance, many late nights and exhausting days, trips out of town on weekends, some major expense, and utmost devotion to dance. It's A LOT!!!!!! But it's so worth it because Madyson absolutely loves it!! I'm glad that I am able to make it happen and those girls do so great!! All of them! It's a very good team and a dance studio I'm proud to be a part of! Next month we're traveling to Grapevine Texas for a dance convention. This will be the first time we've done anything remotely close to a vacation aside from going with my family to Branson a couple times. We're excited, expenses and all!! Oh... and we're officially doing it all again next year!!
On the weight loss front, I hit it hard again. And I'm feeling that physical change. I am doing the 21 day fix workouts and I'm 7 days in today. They say it takes 21 days to start a new habit and break old ones. I get up at 5 am because I know I'll talk  myself out of them in the evenings. I feel great!! And I'm back to losing and feeling the muscles working. I can feel the change in the fit of my clothes and in my overall feel. I haven't actually weighed myself yet I keep forgetting, but I'll get there. I really have learned not to care much about the scale but more about how I look and feel. I'm getting there!
We lead a pretty great life. Is it perfect? Nope... I'm a single mom working two jobs and going to school and supporting a dance habit and we spend more than I make but we're making it. I desperately want someone to share this life with - not just anyone. I haven't dated much and there is reason for that. I don't want to just date a bunch of random people. I don't want to do that to myself. I really haven't been looking for a man, just waiting. I know that there is someone to complete mine and Madysons life and I hope to meet him soon.
I'm grateful for what we do have because we are blessed beyond measure. I own my home (since 2008) and I just got a brand new car (2014 Escape).
The point of this story? Well, find gratefulness in the life you have and DONT let your circumstances hold you back. If I can do what we're doing with our lives then absolutely so can you!!

The Blahs

For the past several weeks I've had a ridiculous case of the blahs!! You know what I'm talking about... it's that feeling you shake and the only word you can find to describe it is.... say it with me... blah!!
This blah has hindered my life in so many ways!! I've been feeling the hindrance but I've been unsure how to get past my funk. Everywhere around me people are happy and their lives seem so grand! Yesterday another friend of mine got engaged and I'm over here the loneliest girl (In a relationship context). Don't get me wrong! Congratulations to her I AM absolutely very happy for her!! I won't put names here because I didn't ask permission to share her news. I'm just jealous!! She so deserves it though she is a great young lady and I wish her so much happiness!!
Then this week I've started experiencing small things that are pulling me back to reality. Over the weekend we saw Mom's Night Out - go see it!! That's all I've got to say about it. Sunday was Mother's Day, and I have a beautiful daughter. One of my great friends dedicated their baby on Mothers Day, what an awesome gift!! Monday I was really feeling the pressure in all these things: finances, weight loss, motherhood, career worries, etc. I know you can relate!
Tuesday I went to a Bible study. I've always enjoyed listening to my cousin speak - he speaks on my level every time! So, the emphasis in the study (at least for me) was that God is faithful to complete the work he has started in us! He also touched on prayer and suggested that when we worry about things or something weighs on our mind we should lift it in prayer every time it invades our brain space... EVERY TIME. Ok yes I knew that - but I put it to the test because it seemed like I should. I was amazed yesterday how many times things came into my head that really bothered me. I found myself saying a short prayer each time. I began to feel a little peace throughout the day, but yesterday was the worst of my blahs as well. Coincidence? I really think not. Then I started seeing pieces of inspiration for various things. I saw another person post on Facebook about their struggles and I felt for them. You see I could relate so I shared my own advice with her.
One thing that's weighed heavily on me lately is my slacking in the weight loss department. I haven't completely fallen off the Wagon - actually maybe I have I don't know. I've not even cared the slightest bit and I've made lots of excuses. I've stopped trying and I'm putting my foot down TODAY!! So I was even praying that one up yesterday and Facebook is a magical thing. I follow Mama Laughlins blog and she posted about this exact thing yesterday. I was like yes exactly!! Then I had a childhood friend post before and after pictures and it touched right to my soul. She looks amazing!! She should be so proud of what she has accomplished and these things inspired me! I will never be beautifully skinny like a model the truth is I'm not built that way, but I will get fit and I will be comfortable in my skin and this is me jumping back in (again).
My original purpose of this blog was to hold myself accountable and I've been lacking on that front, but we all struggle in our own ways.
Thank you to everyone who supports me and encourages me!! I cannot say enough how thankful I am to have such amazing people in our lives!! To those who help me through my blah days and sometimes share them with me - you know who you are!