It's ON!!

The past couple weeks I haven't tried very hard. I've slacked a lot and not worked out. I've eaten a LOT and not a lot of good. Then I had my panic. I've not gained any weight back but I haven't broken out of the 190s and that just drives me crazy! If you've read my blog very regularly you can see I go through these back and forth spurts. I've got to stop doing that!! Is it OK to have a bad day even a couple days? Absolutely!! But to have a bad couple weeks every month is a major hindrance. Imagine where I could be if I only had a couple bad days instead of a couple bad weeks. Imagine... because that's my goal. Am I a perfect dieter? No way... and I never will be, but can I out forth a better effort? Oh most definitely!!
I'm going to get there!!
Life is busy right now and its so easy for me to say I don't have time, but you know I really do have time. Even with our busy activities, I'm usually home by 8:30 and I don't need to go to bed that early. Even with little time I should be able to make good choices
Somewhere I'm rubbing off on my kid (and I'm not talking about attitude!!) This morning she was looking at packages (mind you it was mouth wash and Bunny food) but she was talking about calories.
Last night someone I really don't know said you're looking great!! That's so nice and its things like that which really keep me going!!
Hold your head high and KEEP GOING!! Break out of funks and let go and don't give up. I don't care if you've had a bad year (we all have them but let's not get into life issues) just keep moving forward!!
You're not alone in any struggle I promise. I don't care who you are I'm here for you whether you're struggling because of weight, money, relationships, it doesn't matter you're not alone!
And of course we gotta have a picture!! Trick or treat was last night and I barely ate any candy ;)

I live for this beautiful little girl 

Fitness... and beyond

Its been a crazy busy time. My 2nd sister got married. It was beautiful and perfect!! Tell me do you see a difference?

The picture on the left in blue is June 2013, the picture on the right is October 12th. They are almost exactly 4 months apart. They are not from the same angle I apologize but it was the best I could do right now.
I have no more weight loss to report just yet, I'm working on that, but I can say I feel a tremendous difference!! I've been working out hard more than not lately. I can feel a difference in my clothing and I'm enjoying pulling out clothes that haven't fit or been flattering. Small victory... my BROTHER noticed. And his wife asked me how (I make that up as I go). Happy dance!!!! Yes I meant literally.. happy dance!

I have worked out hard pushing myself and feeling like I was gonna die several times. But guess what... I didn't! Then I knew I could do it and I wanted to push myself even more.
Yesterday was a rough day. You see many times I feel alone (even though I'm obviously not) and that's a struggle for me. I watch all these people and it seems like so many good things are happening to everyone except me. Yesterday I had a slap in the face from a good friend and I was heart broken. I share this not because I want sympathy for my at times pathetic life but because I want to share my success that I drew out of it. I'm very blessed I know this. I have tons of amazing people in my life and I let the actions of pretty much one person pull all that away from me!! BUT.... the win? I didn't let it throw me into food for comfort, in fact I didn't even have that desire! This my friends is an accomplishment. A short time ago this kind of day would have me reaching for chocolate and pop and those comforts didn't even cross my mind!!
Its fall time and lots of great things are coming about but I will not be swayed.. at least not that much!! ;)

Today

I didn't weigh myself today but I have a feeling I'm about the same. I feel good today, not just about weight but a lot of things. Every once in awhile, life looks up when its looked down and it feels great. This feeling alone gives me renewed strength and will to keep moving forward.
Today: a wonderful lady told me i looked amazing when she saw me last night. Asked for my secrets (he he).
Today: I'm wearing an old pair of jeans in a smaller size AND a shirt I bought probably 3-4 months ago and I haven't felt comfortable wearing. Its been tight around my mid-section and thighs. I've attached a picture for you. Its not the best picture but it shows the shirt and jeans, which was the point! (Shirt courtesy of WWW.kikilarue.com and the jeans are Maurice's. Both my favorite places to shop)
Today: I walked into work and someone said you look really good today!
My weight loss progress is slow and truth be known I've only lost 14 pounds, but I already feel great, I'm already receiving numerous compliments. I think its about time I go jeans shopping! :)

What's up: Some truths for you

Obviously it's been awhile since I've written. So, here's the deal. I'm no longer going to commit to every Wednesday but I'm still going to commit because I need that accountability. My goal is to write every 1-2 weeks.
The truth? Some weeks I didn't do it just because I didn't want to, some because I forget, and some simply because I'm busy!! More truth? I haven't tried that hard, I've been drinking more pop than I should, I've not worked out as much as I should and its been a rough few weeks. Another truth? I've had some things in my life I've allowed to bring me down and I've used those things as a crutch... an excuse... to not stick to what I needed to be doing.
Now I did not completely fall off the wagon, while I've eaten some things I shouldn't and I've slacked BUT I've still been conscious of what I'm doing. Not because I am plowing through some french fries and magically think I'm a pig but I notice almost a habit of being conscious of my portion sizes and even my choices. So sure I might enjoy a SMALL french fry order but I account for it with portion control and making sure I'm not eating like that allllllll the time.
So this morning I stepped on the scale. I've not weighed myself since my last post and I really had a negative attitude, but to my surprise I saw 190. Say it again.. 190!!!!!! That's a total of 14 pounds. Today I wore a cute little shirt and I feel confident and you would be amazed the number of compliments I've received.
My words of truth... are you ready? No one is perfect.. ESPECIALLY ME.. but I keep trying and I keep moving forward and instead of beating myself up I just adjust and keep trying. I'm getting somewhere. It will take me a long time to be where I wanna be, but progress is amazing!! Don't get down.. depressing thoughts will only discourage you and you will reach for a Twinkie and that's OK, eat a Twinkie but don't eat 3 of them and don't follow it up with a donut, a Dr. Pepper, a Snickers, a cookie, and a large pizza. ;)

Whats up Wednesday: on a Saturday

So, after I posted what I thought was a late post last week and really was a day early here I am posting a truly late post this week. Truth is, sometimes I forget its Wednesday or I get distracted and never get my post typed. Then here comes Saturday and I know I need to hold myself accountable even if I am late!
The kicker... I stepped on my scale this morning fully expecting I was gonna sigh and shrug my shoulders. I had a much needed girls night with my sisters last night and we ate junk - fried foods, chips, triple double oreos, gummy worms, and wild cherry Pepsi. I just knew I wasn't gonna gain any ground but to my surprise my scale says 194!! I weighed myself three different time to be sure. I just couldn't believe it! This marks my first TEN pounds... gone!!! Yay!! *small (OK big) happy dance here*.
Now let's talk about what I did this week. As promised I worked out at least 5 days. I started with some dance workout DVDs I have but I just wasn't feeling it. I mean I enjoyed them but I didn't feel like they were doing much for me. So Monday I pulled out a DVD that was loaned to me and gave it a try. Let me tell you what it was great! She loaned me The Biggest Loser: cardio max and super sculpt. I started the first day with cardio max. They have varying levels and I started with level 1 and it challenged me in new ways and I FELT it. I finished and I had this realization that I was able to do the whole workout without modifications or breaks. That meant something to me. That's one of my biggest struggles. The workout video had people like me instead of skinny fit people and it was focused on people like me but it was no simple video. While I made it through I still felt the challenge. It literally kicked my rear. The next day I couldn't walk, sit, stand... it hurt!! The video suggested I alternate the 2 different ones so that's exactly what I did. Power sculpt focuses on sculpting but was still very beneficial in my opinion and gave e a break from the hurt I was feeling in my muscles while still working them! So.. right now I'm more impressed with these workouts than I've ever been with a workout in my life. Yes I'm suggesting them! I know what its like to feel inferior - its nothing new to me especially when you're doing the modifies workout on a DVD and can't do it all. I felt renewed and confident and most of all I felt like I found something that was made for me to use.
My eating habits this week were nothing special. I have modified portion sizes and tried to make semi better choices and drink plenty of water.
Here we go - ready for the next 10 pounds!! :

What's up Wednesday: Accountability

It's been a couple weeks since I've posted and while at the time I thought it was really no big deal the truth is that means I haven't been holding myself accountable like I should be. Accountability was one of my number one reasons for starting this blog. I'm tired of falling off the wagon and failing and I'm tired of not being happy with myself. This being said I haven't done too bad in my journey to get fit and lose some weight but had I been accountable as I should be - might I have done better?
I weighed in this morning at 197. That equals a total weight loss of 7 pounds so far. While this is nice I want more. I'm glad to know I've still been losing, but it seems very slow!! I have struggled with this funk lately, making excuses to myself for not working out... we're so busy or I'm so tired. Several weeks ago I mentioned I wad going to start c25k again and I still have not done that. I've literally done very minimal working out for almost a month! Enough I say!!
So here I am again... holding myself accountable!! This week I'm going to workout 5 days (that's the plan) and continue my changing eating habits and see what I see next week. I once read another bloggers words stating that the hardest part is putting your feet on the floor. This IS the truth!! Its so hard to talk myself into getting off my rear and being productive but when I do it feels good!
We all fall back, not one of us is perfect. We all struggle but making it through those struggles and moving forward continuing to make the effort to better ourselves is simply the best we can do!!
Here's to accountability!! Have a good week!

What's up Wednesday: some thoughts

I missed posting last week - I really just didn't know what to say so I figured you could survive a week without me ;)
I had a tough couple weeks on the diet front. I gained back 2 pounds because of carelessness but I made some major adjustments and am back at 199 this morning. Hopefully I'll see some more good progress this week. I have not worked out at all this week, but I will I just need to get my act together. Last Friday I set a goal to drink 60-70 ounces of water a day, before 6:00 pm.
I read an interesting article last week. Now before I share this information let me just say I'm not posting this as "the word" it is simply a doctor's article that I found interesting.
The doctor states that food choices and drinking water are the absolute keys to weight loss. Now this is something we all know is important but do you know what water does to help you? Drinking enough water allows your body to flush out waste. When you don't drink enough water the body thinks you're going to deprive it and stores fat to protect itself - drink your water!! I can say that adjusting my water intake had made in obvious difference in my hunger and energy. The article states that the doctor believes exercise is useless when it comes to weight loss (my opinion in a minute). Before you disagree or shake your head read on. According to the doctor it takes burning 3500 calories to burn away a pound of fat. In his calculations he estimates that women burn calories in every day life up to 2500 per day. His rationale at this point was that if burning calories caused weight loss everyone would be skinny. Now let me say my brain struggles with this but at the same time I see the logic. However while he makes the statement that he simply does not believe in exercising I say this. Whether or not his words are true, exercise is important. We may not need to exercise to lose weight but we do need exercise to tone our bodies. Our bodies need that exercise to remain strong and healthy and full of life.
I am not going to say his statements are true or false because the fact is I just don't really know. I'm not a doctor or a health specialist, I just found it interesting.
Food for thought!!
Here's to more success this week and open minds for learning and hopefully bettering ourselves as well!

What's up... Thursday??

Ok... so I forgot yesterday was Wednesday! ! It's been a long trying and stressful week.  I managed to control myself and not eat everything I desired but I generally failed at working out, however my scale didn't move up or down so I'd call it at least a decent week.  I'm making progress slowly but surely.  I can tell a difference in the eating choices I'm making.  If I could find a way to be faithful with working out I'd be golden!! One of my problems is I tend to let outside things in my life get to me and then use those as an excuse.  That's a very bad habit I'm trying to break.  Rather than saying oh I had a bad day I'm not working out tonight I should be wanting to work out to relieve tension of that day.  Forming new habits is just as challenging as breaking old ones,  but I believe coming to this realization will be a major help for me as I continue through this journey.  Last week I spoke of my desire to wear shorts,  this week I put a more short term goal out there.  I have the pleasure of wearing a bridesmaid dress in October for my final sisters wedding.  It's very hard for meto watch both of my sisters married off and know I'm 26 and still remaining (yet another issue I have. .. I'm full of them! ) but I've made it my goal to look good in that dress, to feel comfortable with the way I look in front of all those people.  Who knows maybe I'll even be able to achieve a thigh gap (yes its exactly as it sounds, gap between the thighs when standing)!! I know I will win this challenge!! As I continue with my baby steps, I know I will get there!!
To close I'm going to restart my couch to 5k running program. I've said before I'm not a runner and I still think that but I'd love to run a 5k so I can say I did it!!
For those struggling... I'm just like you, lets just keep on keeping on!! I'm more than happy to be there for you!!

What's up Wednesday: not my scale!!

 Oh happy day! This morning I stepped on the scale (only because it's my check in day) and was pleasantly surprised to see I'm finally in the 100s!! 199 does count and equals 5 pounds gone!! Woot woot!!! Let me just say I cannot tell you how wonderful that feels - and I'm still at the beginning of this journey!!
I didn't check in last week, I've been in a bit of a downer mood and I almost let it win, but here I am with a renewed spirit!
I've been considering what I can do to maybe see a jump start (yes I'm inpatient). An advocare challenge may be in my future. I'm extending my 30 day shred one more week to account for my "unfaithful" days.
My goal: to feel comfortable in shorts. I've always hated my legs, especially my knees!! This girl has not worn shorts in public since the 7th grade - that's about 15 years ago!! But I will win, and I will wear shorts again and I WILL feel good in them!! Have a good week!! Enjoy the holiday! !

What's up Wednesday: no bueno

What's up this Wednesday?
Well to be downright honest I was not very faithful this week. Between all the goings on for my sisters wedding and well all of my other excuses, I just don't stick it out like I shoul have! This tends to be a problem of mine. I always find an excuse and then I struggle to get back on track, but not this time. I had my off time and today is a new day!! I will persevere!! Today it's back to the drawing board.
The good news I didn't gain anything back I just didn't lose anymore.
Goal today - drink 75 oz of water AND burn extra calories, which could mean an extra workout.
Here's to a better week this week and remembering that while we all struggle and have rough weeks we have to keep moving forward and overcome these obstacles! I can do it!!

What's Up Wednesday!

Wednesdays are going to be my normal check in days since I started blogging my journey on a Wednesday. Today marks one week from the beginning of this "new" journey. I stepped on the scale this morning (we are not friends) and found myself 2 pounds down. While some may think that's not much I see that I won this weeks battle. That sale hasn't moved in a long time despite varied efforts. I have to say I did fairly well this week. There were times I could have eaten better, but I definitely improved my eating habits. I was faithful to my morning and evening workouts. I have also had a couple people tell me they can tell a difference (without my prompting). These small victories are what really count! Throw out that scale and look at yourself!
Today I advanced to level 2 on my 30-day shred... It was significantly more challenging to me! I've done the shred before but never really put a lot of effort into it!
Here's to more victories in the coming week!

Reality Check

On this new journey of mine I'm also trying to make a lot of wrongs right. I will be the first to admit I've made numerous bad choices, but not one of us is perfect. I feel like failure in many ways. As I say this I wonder how many times I've been the person to bring others down, to hit them when they're already low. I feel the importance of just needing love and encouragement and not to be treated like a loser who messes up a lot. The truth is we all mess up, we all fall down, but we must pick ourselves up and better ourselves. I've probably fallen so many times people lose their positive outlooks of me and that breaks my heart. That thought is knowledge enough to propel me forward much harder than before. One cannot undo mistakes. Part 2 of my journey is to get other parts of my life under control as well - parentig, finances, attitude, etc. While I've admitted my weight issue I should confess my others: I'm financially irresponsible, I'm a lost parent and overall I'm simply lost. But I'm trying and part of those efforts are to make it right. It's not a short term plan. The damage I've managed to do will take time and effort to undo, but I shall conquer!! Today - I cut up 95% of my credit cards, which ill have you know totals to 6 cards - I told you I had a problem!!
So, here's to step 2!! Staying strong and holding on to make a better future!

On a side note, I'm feeling my workouts today. I'm exhausted, but I'm noticing the positive changes!!
Have a good weekend all!

The Journey Begins

Today I begin a new journey, because I have a dream. While no life can ever be perfect, you can still be happy in life. My journey begins with weight loss (as many do). It all started because of a picture taken 6/4/2013. It was my breaking point. I saw that picture posted on Facebook for all eyes to see and I though oh my gosh... Look at yourself! Weighing in at.... Dare I say it?... 204 hearty pounds on a 5'6" female, it's just not pretty. I'm a single mother of a 6-year old an I've struggled with weight since she was born. I've tried diet pills, I've paid big bucks for things like Xyngular, but nothing has ever kept me on track or worked really well for me. I've tried running and the truth is running bores me. Making excuses stops now! I will not be that "big" girl who is embarrassed by clothing and pictures. I WILL look good! And I will not look back! Here is to putting my feet on the floor and moving forward. My game plan is to do 45 minutes of Zumba at least 5 days a week. I'm also going to get my butt out of bed before work and do Jillian Michaels 30-day shred. I hereby give my word to do these things consistently in an effort to make my personal goal to reach a weight in the 150s. I will also be using My Fitness Pal and monitoring my calories/portions as well as trying to make healthier food choices. I refuse to be this person anymore who is miserable in my shell. All I ask is for your support and encouragement as I move forward in this journey!! Here I go!
P.S. the picture above is the one that broke me.