Insanity Update: Week 2 & Fit Test

Friday, I wrapped up week 2 of Insanity. This morning, I completed my 2nd Fit Test because I hit the two week mark. All last week, I continued to feel like maybe I was out of my league. I spent a lot of time feeling like there was no way I was ever going to be good at this, and a lot of time considering quitting some more. The moves are super challenging for me, ranging from burpees to push-up jacks. The thing is, I can barely do a push-up anyway, but push up and jacks all together? What the heck!The thing is, I can't quit. While I spend almost every workout discouraged with my abilities and upset at how little I can really do, I can't quit. I must complete this. Whether or not it will actually do me any good I have NO idea. Let me tell you what, I have been working by rear off these past 2 weeks and still haven't lost a pound. I am so mad!! I have even been trying to eat well, and that's aside from dripping sweat at 5 A.M. every single morning. I mean really what more do I have to do to actually accomplish something?
So this morning I did my second Fit Test, and I was worried that I wouldn't have any improvements. Much to my surprise, I did improve on almost every move. There were two moves that stayed the same - one of them was "suicide jumps" or what I like to call "burpees". Ya, those are a killer and I'm not getting any better at them. There is a lot of hardcore cardio in the Insanity videos and the Fit Test is no exception. Each exercise is all about speed and power. My improvements were small, but they were still there. I have no measured to see if I have lost any inches, and I don't think I am going to until at least half way through.
I will be taking next week off because we are taking a trip and I am not taking Insanity with me, mind you I plan on being somewhat mindful of my food intake; however it is vacation and I plan on treating it as so. When I return, I will pick up exactly where I left off on the following Monday - and probably crying the whole time! After that week, I will have completed one month of Insanity, and month 2 is supposed to be even harder as the workouts intensify. Someone please talk some sense into me now! How can they possibly get any more challenging than they already are??
On another note, I'm going to keep pushing forward, and some day I will be at least somewhat in shape, and hopefully with a better body to show for it!

Insanity, Week 1

I started "Insanity" on Monday. Day 1 of Insanity begins with what they call a fit test. They repeat the fit test every two weeks as a source to measure progress in the workout. The fit test consists of a handful of exercises and you do each one for a minute. The goal is to do as many of each one during that minute that you can. Each time you complete the Fit Test, you record your results and hopefully do more each time as you progress. So, when I did the Fit Test, I discovered I am NOT fit - at all. I was hoping that would be the easy part, but the truth is it wasn't. It was a full blown cardio workout.
With Insanity, each day you are assigned a different workout according to a 60-day calendar that comes with the workout set. Tuesday was Plyometric Cardio Circuit, Wednesday was Cardio Power & Resistance, Thursday was Cardio Recovery, and Friday was Pure Cardio. Each of the workouts that I have completed so far have been 30-45 minutes of pure sweat.
Let me tell you something, Insanity lives up to the name. Which I expected, but take that expectation time 10, and then take that thought times 10 again and you MIGHT be close to the intensity of these workouts. I have done 5 days of Insanity and it is literally the HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!! Don't believe me? When Madyson was born, I spent an hour and a half on my hands and knees while enduring hard labor - this is harder than that, although less painful. I have been doing a lot of working out lately. I have done some pretty challenging workouts - or so I thought. The cardio is intense, the power moves are intense, it is so intense! Do you get my drift yet?
I am not good enough for this change in the game yet, and I almost quit. When I talked myself into sticking it out, I almost quit again. I cried every single day of the actual workouts, except for the cardio recovery. Tuesday, my calves were on fire! They still are if I'm being honest. At work, they were laughing at me because it obviously was hard for me to even walk. I was sitting at my desk hoping I wouldn't feel the need to get up that day. Of course, when you're drinking a keg of water that doesn't quite work out.
But I stuck it out, despite my tears and my negative thoughts that I can't do it, I just kept going. And that's what I will continue to do. Even this morning, I feel out of my league. I AM out of my league. I was so tired already before I even started the workout that I rested just as much as I worked this morning. And I feel like I can't do it. Even as I type about this point I would be saying don't do that, don't tell yourself you can't do it. I'm not perfect and the little voice in the back of my head says I'm not sure what you're trying to prove or even why you're still trying to prove it. On top of that, I wish so badly, I could just be cute and skinny without having to work so hard. I stepped on the scale this morning sure that I would see something for my efforts. I have eaten SO good this week, but guess what that scale hasn't budged. I've said myself the scale is just a number it does not define you, but I want to see something for my efforts! Even with my complaining, and my thoughts of failure and quitting, I will NOT quit. I mean I only have 55 days left, why quit now? I will finish, and I may not be very good - in fact, I am horrible, but I CAN finish and hopefully when all is said and done I will finish strong and proud.

Now let me say this, if I can do it - so can you. According to the BMI charts I am obese (do I feel obese? No, but I do feel overweight). The key is to stop making excuses. Believe me I have all the same excuses. I am a mother, with no husband or boyrfriend or whatever, and I work two jobs and we are ALWAYS busy with something but I make it happen. Have I always made it happen? Well, obviously not. I think more than anything I am doing Insanity to prove something to myself because in the end I am my toughest judge.

21 Day Fix

I just finished up doing the "21 day fix" - workouts only. I very much enjoyed the workouts. They were quick, challenging, and a good mixture. For those of you who have not yet heard of the 21 Day Fix, it is a program that comes with a different workout for each day of the week (i.e. Total Body Cardio, Pilates, Upper Fix, etc.). The program also comes with measured food containers that you are supposed to use for your meals. I'll be honest and say I didn't bother to use the containers that much. I feel like I understand the concept of portion sizes, I just don't very often use them as I should. I am trying (and struggling) to be better with that. I know that portion sizes make a bog difference in the long run. My problem is, my mind takes a long time to decide I can really stop eating. Anyways, I think I am getting off topic there.
I failed to take measurements and pictures before I started the program. I meant to, I just never did it and now it's been 21 days so I guess it's a little late for before pictures, huh? Here is what I notice to my judgemental eye. I feel a small amount of toning in my muscles, some strengthening in different areas. I have noticed a greater range of flexibility and movement for myself. I have noticed maybe a slight amount of slimming in my love handles on my back. It's hard to tell with all the cushion that I still have there. To be quite honest, I found myself a little discouraged and disappointed with my results. I mean I was supposed to be a new person in 21 days, right? So, as I was pouting about only subtle changes taking place, I then began to berate myself for not doing better. I was mad at myself because let's face it - I could have eaten better, I could have not skipped a couple days of workouts, I could have eaten better, and I totally could have eaten better! Eating is my most challenging thing in the weightloss front! I need to get a handle on this! So, as I was berating myself for not doing better, I then had to kick myself for tearing myself down. Ladies (and gents too), DON"T TEAR YOURSELVES DOWN! Listen to me, if you are trying, if you are putting forth an effort then pat yourself on the back! Are you going to be perfect? Well, no probably not, because I am prety darn close to perfect most days (obviously not) and I struggle here.
I almost found myself thinking I don't know why I am really trying, because it's not like I'll really ever be skinny. And maybe I won't. My body structure is not a supermodel body structure, and the truth is it never will be, but if I keep working and keep pushing myself to keep striving for more, I will at least get better than where I am.
One positive thing I can take away from the 21 Day Fix is I feel like I've actually established the habit of getting up and working out in the morning before work. I was hit and miss on this, but of the 21 days, I only missed 3 and they were all on weekends. I tagged that time on to the end as well. Overall, I am impressed with the 21 day fix program and am considering doing it again. The problem is I burn out easily on workouts when they get repetitive so I am going to move on and maybe come back to it in a couple of months. My next mission is Insanity. I'm going to admit right now, that I am scared to death that I am not good enough for Insanity, but I know I can do it! "If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!" I am going to take it one day at a time and continue pushing myself.
This time I promise to take before pictures and measurements because I would like to keep track!
Here are a couple after pictures, just for fun! Don't laugh at my goofy tan lines either!